Sick of it.
Do ever get those disturbed, flu-filled nights sleeps that make you question your sanity? The ones that submerge you into a realm stuck between that of a horror film and sweaty dark place? Phew, I thought I was the only one.
And what a way to wake up at 2am by pouncing up onto my bed in a state of wide eyed panic thinking I was meant to be at work.
After I stopped hyperventilating, the penny dropped and I realised the wanky-winter flu had crept up on me and taken its toll.
Ill. I am ill. And everyone is going to know about it. In this state, I think it's fair to say that most people want a level of sympathy and obviously think that whatever they have is death knocking at the door. When is reality, it's nothing a few days of tea, toast and plenty of rest can't fix.
I still haven't quite worked out what the worst thing about being stuck at home surrounded by a pile of snotty tissues is. Is it a) the vom-inducing daytime tele, b) the downer to having just four channels, c) my own company or d) acknowledging that Facebook really doesn't offer a whole lot of entertainment.
After planting my ass on the sofa and making my personal bum grove, I thought the easy viewing of Jeremy Kyle would do me no harm. Wrong.
It made me want to cut my bleeding ears off and jump off my balcony. Where do these people come from?! They speak a language only dogs can hear and understand and seem to fornicate with any fool they can find and then find it utterly shocking that there might be just a chance they could be the father of the child. Give me strength! So yeah, that really didn't ease any of my pain.
Flicking over to find naked gardeners just made me feel somewhat crazy and close to slapping myself to see if I'd fallen into a weird nightmare again. No, no I hadn't. Producers televise this shit. I just felt sorry for the presenter... where do you look?
So obviously Facebook is full of thrills. It is if you love constant reminders that it's cold outside! And seeing that I was pretty much the only person posting pointless status' with reminders how shit being ill is; it was in fact proving to be quite depressing.
Sulking on the sofa was my final resort. Especially after dropping my phone down the toilet, sulking was really the only thing I felt like doing. I couldn't even abuse anyone by text. Life is almost over.
But of course, there has to be a lesson in all of this. And the lesson of the day is don't rub your eyes with Olbas Oil infused tissues. OBVIOUSLY it makes your eyes stream and burn like crazy.
Good one Tia. Good one.
And what a way to wake up at 2am by pouncing up onto my bed in a state of wide eyed panic thinking I was meant to be at work.
After I stopped hyperventilating, the penny dropped and I realised the wanky-winter flu had crept up on me and taken its toll.
Ill. I am ill. And everyone is going to know about it. In this state, I think it's fair to say that most people want a level of sympathy and obviously think that whatever they have is death knocking at the door. When is reality, it's nothing a few days of tea, toast and plenty of rest can't fix.
I still haven't quite worked out what the worst thing about being stuck at home surrounded by a pile of snotty tissues is. Is it a) the vom-inducing daytime tele, b) the downer to having just four channels, c) my own company or d) acknowledging that Facebook really doesn't offer a whole lot of entertainment.
After planting my ass on the sofa and making my personal bum grove, I thought the easy viewing of Jeremy Kyle would do me no harm. Wrong.
It made me want to cut my bleeding ears off and jump off my balcony. Where do these people come from?! They speak a language only dogs can hear and understand and seem to fornicate with any fool they can find and then find it utterly shocking that there might be just a chance they could be the father of the child. Give me strength! So yeah, that really didn't ease any of my pain.
Flicking over to find naked gardeners just made me feel somewhat crazy and close to slapping myself to see if I'd fallen into a weird nightmare again. No, no I hadn't. Producers televise this shit. I just felt sorry for the presenter... where do you look?
So obviously Facebook is full of thrills. It is if you love constant reminders that it's cold outside! And seeing that I was pretty much the only person posting pointless status' with reminders how shit being ill is; it was in fact proving to be quite depressing.
Sulking on the sofa was my final resort. Especially after dropping my phone down the toilet, sulking was really the only thing I felt like doing. I couldn't even abuse anyone by text. Life is almost over.
But of course, there has to be a lesson in all of this. And the lesson of the day is don't rub your eyes with Olbas Oil infused tissues. OBVIOUSLY it makes your eyes stream and burn like crazy.
Good one Tia. Good one.
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